On Mindfulness: Feeling Frustrated or Angry?
Since COVID started, have you caught yourself losing your temper, yelling at your children, or having a tantrum? Even though as parents we know we are to model appropriate behavior, let’s be honest, we were making mishaps long before COVID-19 disrupted our lives. You must be overwhelmed with all the hats you are having to wear - teacher, principal, cruise director, IT expert, laundress, janitor, chef, and a servant to all. Parents, you have been asked to do the impossible, so it’s no surprise that you’re now battling increased frustration and anger.
When schools and workplaces first closed, you may have been inspired to spend this extra time with your kids and had grand ideas of all the tasks you could accomplish. Well, it’s time to lower your expectations and offer yourself some self-compassion. Self-compassion means you are kind and understanding toward yourself when confronted with inadequacies; after all, who ever said you were supposed to be perfect? All the extra stress and disruption in routines is very likely to have an impact on your mood, thus impacting your ability to be your best self. So now is the time to show yourself some compassion.
Remember to take time for yourself doing something like exercising, reading, or doing anything that helps you feel centered. Become mindful of when you are holding your breath or feeling stressed. Take a couple of minutes to do mindful breathing by simply taking a slow breath through your nose, holding for a few seconds, then slowly exhaling through your mouth. Allow the stress and tension ease with each breath.
Clinical psychologist and parenting coach, Rebecca Schrag Hersherg, PhD, recommends focusing on your relationship with your children and maintaining positive family dynamics. For your children, being loved and feeling safe are the foundation for everything else falling into place.
If you still find yourself losing your temper, yelling, or having a tantrum, then practice some self-compassion and mindful breathing. When you have calmed and recentered yourself, apologize to your children, honestly telling them how you feel - tired, frustrated, overwhelmed. Being honest with your children in these moments models how to handle challenging emotions using self-awareness, self-regulation, and problem-solving skills. Celebrate this as a victory during this difficult time. Also remember, sometimes we all need to ask for help, so reach out to family and friends if you are finding it harder to battle these new daily frustrations.
O'Neal's school counselors are always available to help our families. Feel free to consult with them. See contact information below.
Kim Mason, Lower and Middle School Counselor - kmason@onealschool.org
Amanda Bumgarner - Upper School Counselor - abumgarner@onealschool.org
O'Neal's school counselors are always available to help our families. Feel free to consult with them. See contact information below.
Kim Mason, Lower and Middle School Counselor - kmason@onealschool.org
Amanda Bumgarner - Upper School Counselor - abumgarner@onealschool.org
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